Podcast: Now Text-Based!

Greetings loyal Jarthen readers! I must apologize for our deplorable laxity with regard to posting podcasts of late -- fortunately, however, today will bring some relief to your parched imaginations that have thirsted for new content for far too long!

In keeping with the Jarthen Foundation and Worthis Trust's continuing committment to innovative web-based entertainment, we are proud to present the world's first ever 'text-cast.' Now many naysayers out there have claimed that text-casts are nothing more than a cheap cop-out, a blog post by another name, if you will. Nothing could be further from the truth. The astute blog reader will of course notice that we here at Jarthen HQ have made it a point of posting only podcasts on Mondays, while reserving standard blog posts for the other six days of the Christian week. Thus, it is irrefutable that Mondays should henceforth be considered the day of casting, and nothing else. Any content delivered on Mondays must therefore take the form of some sort of 'cast.'

Now that we have established this unassailable law of the Jarthenverse let us move onto the business of today's cast, which will be communicated in the form of text, hence the newly coined 'text-cast.' In this edition of the Jarthcast, we will respond to a selection of comments posted by you, the reader. Without further ado, we begin:

"Poor Fatty." -Dani Indovino

This comment, left by long-time reader and collaborator Dani Indovino, was left in response to Fatty's apparent protestations during the filming of a press release by the inimitable Jon 'Nigel' Seid. At the time, Nigel was discussing the recent events of Elliot Spitzer's resignation and the death of Terrence Squidby, while Fatty sat placidly with him for the majority of the video, stirring only to offer the occasional affirmation of what the chairman had to say.

Now it is quite striking that Dani should utter these words of sympathy for dear Fatty when he was clearly very pleased to be taking part in this historic broadcast. It is well known by all individuals acquainted with the young master, Fatty, that he has a taste for the dramatic, and absolutely adores being in the spotlight. Indeed, this is a being that once managed to upstage Dan Rather in a very memorable incident on the popular evening news program "60 Minutes." Rather, famously confused by the sudden appearance by the ponderous, orange cat, initially thought that the fair beast was in some distress from his incessant yowling. The legendary newsman was eventually able to interpret Fatty's attempts at communication, culminating in one of the most fabled interviews in modern news history (rivaling even that of British Prime Minister John Major's landmark discussions of bath tissue its role in precipitating the Faulkland Crisis).

This being the case, I say, shed not a tear for Fatty -- he is a happy cat! On to the next comment:

"Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Perfume, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://perfumes-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug." -Perfume

This comment was left by a first time poster whose own blog, unfortunately, is no longer available at this time. Although it is now impossible for us to discover more about the identity and nature of the mysterious "Perfume" from that source, it is possible for us to gain some insight into their character through an analysis of the one piece of communication that we have from them, the comment under consideration here.

Of course, the first full sentence:

"This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-)."

is nothing less than what one would expect for a first impression of the Tale of Jarthen. How many times have our dedicated readers expressed this very sentiment? Too often to count. The use of the common emoticon, :-), is also not particularly noteworthy.

The next section of the comment is where the plot thickens considerably:

I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Perfume, I hope you enjoy.

What, pray tell, is a "blogroll?" Never in all my years as a student of lexicography have I encountered this particular term, which leads me to believe that this is some sort of code. What the code is meant to convey, however, is obscure even to the brilliant minds that labor in the name of all this is right in the world, namely Jarthen. Countless hours have been spent attempting to parse out the import of this potentially meaningful communique, to little avail. The further one reads into the sentence, the deeper the mire of enigma becomes! Despite numerous attempts by the combined IT departments of the Jarthen Foundation and the Worthis Trust, we have been unable to give a 'last' to this individual's blog. Nevertheless, a general consensus has been reached that Perfume is simply a cover for the undoubtedly much more sinister motives of this individual.

It seems almost certain that this comment was left by some individual or group that wishes to obstruct the lofty aims and work of the JF and WT. Some of our staff have speculated that even the U.S. government might be involved in the elaborate conspiracies against our benevolent organizations -- and why not? After all, it has already been indisputably proved that large sections of the mass media have resorted to the vile practices of muckraking and intimidation pioneered during the Gilded Age to besmearch our reputation.

I will close by asking all of our readers to remain vigilant against these machinations, and to cling always to the truth that is the Tale of Jarthen.