Here is the much-anticipated second half of chapter 6's dramatic reading. Hopefully its conclusion will be as titillating and engrossing as the first half.
Cast of Characters:
Lem: Melissa
Nelhoepher: Jon
Svava: Jon
Jellihondor: Melissa
Jarthen: Melissa
Elcrona: Jon
Drasha Must: Melissa
Mysterious Third Judge: Melissa
Phinneas Flumpert: Melissa
Bertronius: Melissa
Continuing in the tradition of their benevolent stewardship over the Tale of Jarthen, the Jarthen Foundation and Worthis Trust have addressed some more of the feedback we have received from you, our readers.
Our first comment comes from the perennially prolix Jennie, who writes:
"Seriously, ass-slapping is a pretty extreme form of sexual harrassment. If one my male coworkers slapped my ass, you'd bet he'd be getting punched in the face. Even if a close male friend slapped my ass, he be hard-pressed to defend himself from a beating. Elcrona was so eager to bitchslap Rethnaki for asking for a kiss, and she just shrugs off an ass-slap? Are there extenuating circumstances here? What's up with the unchecked sexual harrassment amongst the red elves?"
Indeed, Jennie, ass-slappery, butt-bumping, rear-enders and all other forms of buttock-violence are matters of grave import. We here at the Jarthen Foundation and the Worthis Trust take these sorts of accusations very seriously whenever they arise within our organizations.
Perhaps Elcrona's reaction to Rethnaki's presumptuous request is best understood in the context of her complicated feelings towards that particular red elf -- even to this old salt's cynical eye, it seemed like that slap was more an expression of intense feeling (be it attraction or affront?) than a simple rebuff. In the case of Helkint, it would appear that Elcrona expects this sort of behavior from that particular quarter, as he is generally held to be an uncouth, immature elf, who is somewhat lacking in the realm of social graces: he is not the sort of elf one would bring to a fancy family gathering.
The author of our next comment elected to remain anonymous, perhaps, for obvious reasons:
"Dear Jarthen Foundation:
On behalf of Hilary Clinton, Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee we pledge our delegates to you at the next convention. We only hope you can bring to America the peace which you have brought to many thousand deluded kittens with severe acne problems. I have read this message but do not endorse it.
Hilary Clinton
Ron Paul
Mike Huckabee
PS from Barack Obama: I'm all for it. You go dude!"
Of course, many readers will be surprised to see endorsements of the Jarthen Foundation's work from such a diverse set of distinguished quarters, but, in fact, our organization has a long history of receiving support from leading politicians, artists, and thinkers. Indeed, throughout the latter half of the nineteenth century the now-defunct Liberal Party of Britain was entirely funded by the largess of the Foundation. During this period we engineered the election of a promising-if-podgy young man by the name of Churchill, who later went on to do great things for King, country and Foundation.
It is notable that Mr. McCain the current front-runner in the republican primary, decided not to join his fellow candidates in recognizing the accomplishments of our organization. McCain could simply be trying to distance himself from any organization with a history so long and illustrious that it threatens to overshadow his own legacy. Another possible explanation is the Jarthen Foundation's lamentable commerce-relationship with Hanoi during the 1970's. In any case, we look forward to building productive relationship with whosoever finds their self in the Oval Office come 2008.
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